Note of the Day 02.09.17
This Sweet and Unbearable Softness
This very early morning my beloved left for a month to walk hes Camino in the north of Spain. Find a way - clear hes path.
Staying here in my everyday surroundings I choose to do the same. Seize MY days. Searching the path of my heart through a vision quest in my everyday life - take a step out of habit, into the unknown.
And every day maybe sin a little new sin too.
Today this sin was a piece of homemade mint chocolate cake from the open house market in the Hertha village community, that I visited for the first time.
Hertha is for people with a label such as 'Down Syndrome', living together with people labeled 'someone near normal'.
I went there thinking I'd feel kind of at home there. Aand maybe I did!
But the inspiration this time didn't come from these familiar angelic beings - but from a young teenager playing the guitar, singing his own songs in the corner of the small café that had been set up for the day.
Sitting outside on a hay bale - looking down over the hilly fields, this was what reached my ear:
In a somehow thin voice he explained the background of the next song.
What he said was something like: Maybe you too at times have had the thought that there is no reel place for you in the world. That when you sit in a corner and just go inside yourself, you are of no use!
This song is for you!
And with a penetrating softness he began to sing - something like:
No matter how little impact you feel you have.
No matter how few people really see you as you are.
No matter what.
You DO have a place in the world.
The world needs just you as you are.
And the words and the tones of the chorus floated into my heart.
Something like:
Your heart is telling its story.
No matter what,
THAT has a meaning in the world.
He ended sharing his songs with a:
"this must be it. I need to go pee now.."
~
This young guy - soon to become fully grown - made MY heart melt.
Right there in the SUN on the bale of hay, I came back to a place inside me - long longed for.
Into this place where there's space for the unbearable. That which we probably all carry beneath our shells.
I was led straight HOME - into the capability to bear this vulnerable force
- not to be altered ~ but to be LIVED.
I THANK YOU, young being, whoever you are.
You, a seemingly average teenager -
put the arrow for me - this way -> ❤️
- and what a great 1. day of a Camino, that for me started maybe half a century ago.